Noa and Friends

Here is a picture of Noa with the other babies from my mothers' group. As a mother, I have lots of fears, many irrational, but one of my biggest fears is that I won't know how to help her learn to make friends. Even though I have many dear friends, I still feel inept at meeting people, and I have ancient memories of feeling like I just didn't know how to interact in social situations. I often still feel that way, like everyone took some course on Schmoozing 101 that I missed.
When she was with the other babies, I found myself projecting my own insecurities onto the situation, worrying whether the other babies were trying to avoid her or something. Many of them cannot even move on their own free will, but I was imagining them trying to worm away from her. Not only that, but Noa is one of the few who is rolling yet, and she took this photo op as a time to roll onto some of the other babies.

Here she is rolling onto Cole:




and Haline:



It is crazy what I do to myself in my head. The pictures are totally cute and it is funny to me now, but at the time it was just a wee-bit painful for me. My own memories of feeling too big and too awkward came flooding back. I often felt like Lenny from Of Mice and Men, feeling so eager to love on the bunnies that he pets them so hard he breaks their necks or something. I don't want my insecurities to become hers. I know how contagious fear and self-doubt can be.

The universe gives me ample opportunity to laugh at myself. When we arrived at the mom's group this week, Noa had had a poo of enourmous proportions and she was covered in it from mid-chest to mid-thigh! That stuff is mercurial. I had to change her clothes and put her in this turtleneck that I don't really like. (Remind me not to put clothes that I don't like in her diaper bag. Murphy's Law will see to it that she will be wearing them in no time.)

Back to the making friends thing. I shared my fear with Jeremy, and he pointed out that Noa already is good at making friends. She likes meeting new people and she is pretty good at it. He said that it was more important for us to focus on helping her learn how to be a good friend, which made me feel a bit better because I feel like we know how to do that.